I wanted to change my stance on whether Tim O'Brien's character was a coward in "On the Rainy River." By my logic, O'Brien would actually be constricting himself by moving to Canada, where his actions would be largely dictated by possible poverty and a lack of relations. By going to the war, if he survives, he has a greater range of freedoms.

Similarly, if the imagery be considered, I think it is intentional that the woman with the Umbrella is carrying a copy of Plato's Republic, a book throughout which Plato's Socrates voices his opinion on one having obligations to the state because it is a sort of parent to the individual. If O'Brien were to swim across the river he would go through a sort of literary rebirth, and be left an astranged child in a new country, orphaned.

If we look at Hemingway, and the way duty was emphasized, he would be abandoning his duty. O'Brien, doubtless, feels the war was wrong, but seems also to have realized the futility of his "one man stand" against something as nebulous as a war. I agree that the plan seemed childish, if not completely a farce.

I decided on this for my intro and did some extensive editing (really slimmed down my sentences and made things as declarative as possible.)

Nick Adams listens to it crying. He is with his father (the doctor) and uncle George and the Indian woman and its father in the top bed, and Nick wonders. And the quilt is not moving. But Nick scans the room, not noticing. Nick stands alone between the movements. The pin slides through her skin in the doctor’s fingers with alacrity, the fishing line roseate against chiaroscuro. And when it is born and a baby, and the baby is breathing because his father smacked the breath into it, and Nick and his father and Uncle George have cleaned, Uncle George, congratulating, jubilant, lifts up the quilt, and Nick sees the blood. The doctor takes nick’s hand, leads him out to the canoe on the riverbank, only saying what Nick needs to hear to understand. He ignores the other parts as if ignoring the screams of labor. Nick notices.

I've got it italicized because I wanted to emphasize an attempt at nick's perspective that went all...whatever, like with all the "and"s. but i realized a 7 year old probably never read an art book and wouldn't think to call pink roseate. I just didn't think "pinkening" (as it's not really a word) would fly with mr. kizzier. chiaroscuro/odd shadows...no diff, right?

man, i hate having to turn in papers, or any work at all, really.

did i mention I got accepted to college to everyone (build up my confidence before I have to hand in something I had to think about)? happened like a week ago, pretty excited...

See everyone tommorrow

Melinda's paper

I just read melinda's paper, and enjoyed it much more than most school papers.

There are few things I can suggest for your introduction. It's epistolary, and starting it anyway other than "dear friend" might be difficult, or a bad idea.

I thought you did a good job of capturing the voice of an 18th century person. And I liked how things seemed to double for this or that, instrumens=poe's voice.

The only concern I can think of is its length (big spaces between paragraphs), but I imagine it will be all right and think it's complete as is.

Melinda's Writer's Response

ENGL 252 Kizzier

Writer’s Response 1

What kind of intro are you using? Why?

I guess I would say that I am using a thought-provoking idea, statement.




What do you like best about your paper right now? Why?

I like my choice of form. I chose to write my paper in letter form. One of Chekov’s characters, Iona, speaks to Roderick Usher empathizing with his “plight.” I draw interesting and vivid comparisons between both of their lives in order to illuminate Poe’s choice of mood and setting. The darkness that hangs over the house also hangs in Iona’s heart and that made for a dimensional parallel. I was surprised with how easily the paper took form. I am hopeful that what needs to be conveyed comes through; my one concern is that maybe points might be ambiguous. Tried to convey, or mimic, Poe’s style…but may not be specific enough.








What would you work on if you had more time? Why? Try and be specific and please, no comments about grammar.

I am concerned that I have read both pieces closely enough. As stated before, I am hoping that the paper’s points along with my assessment of Poe’s style, comes through. Paper is “packed” emotionally; that may or not be a good thing. I am very happy with the prose. Not in clear essay form.

Reader's response for Mark

What kind of intro is the author using? Suggest a way to use another effective one.

The author uses an effective intro in the fact that he manages to state the purpose of the essay without outright restating the prompt. He goes on to use vivid, attention-catching imagery that draws the reader into the piece. It may be a little too wordy, but it doesn’t detract from the overall understandability of the paragraph.


Where is the author describing a scene from one of the stories? Suggest at least one other scene from a story the author could use.

The author chooses several scenes from the Hemmingway stories that effectively support his purpose. He uses examples from “Indian camp” and “The battler” to describe the symbols that mark Nick’s transformation from a child into a man, and how these relate to defining moments in the stories (“…mist, sawdust or the presence of a swamp—that indicates the beginning of a suspenseful moment.”)

Personally, I think he pretty well covered all of the relevant scenes that could be used throughout the selection of stories he analyzed, and don’t really have any suggestions in this respect.


List any paragraphs where you were confused or unclear about the author‘s intention or meaning. What made it unclear? How could it be said more coherently?

I don’t think that any one paragraph really was unclear, but the author might benefit from using more concise ways of explaining what he is trying to convey with this piece. The descriptions are very vivid, but I got a bit distracted by the wordiness and became a bit lost about the second page. The concept is there, it could just use a bit of condensing.

mark's response to cat's paper

ENGL 252 Kizzier

Writer’s Response 1

1. What kind of intro is the author using? Suggest a way to use another effective one.
Cat seems to have the beginning of the contradiction thing. But it is not very strong, if there is one. Cat may consider using an introduction that…illustrates the unreliability of the narrator?





2. Where is the author describing a scene from one of the stories? Suggest at least one other scene from a story the author could use. do you like best about your paper right now? Why?
The first paragraph includes a description. The author may use a scene from the oblong box more toward the end, when the main character begins to seem a little off, just to give the audience an inclination of her ultimate means.




3. List any paragraphs where you were confused or unclear about the author‘s intention or meaning. What made it unclear? How could it be said more coherently?
As of this far, everything flows more smoothly than I could make it. Continue to use your outline. It looks like you know where you’re going (more than I can say).

ENGL 252 Kizzier

Writer’s Response 1

1. What kind of intro are you using? Why?
My intro is sort of a question. I would like to change it to an anecdote in order to excite and mirror the scenes I rely on in order to interest. A question may work if I can make it flow more smoothly, and make it seem as though I’m asking it instead of giving an example of one.


2. What do you like best about your paper right now? Why?
I like some of my sentences, but not all of them. But some of them are neat, long, and I think certain ones said something close to what I wanted. I also think my paper does an alright job of moving between the three stories I chose.

3. What would you work on if you had more time? Why? Try and be specific and please, no comments about grammar. I would work on my introduction because it is lifeless. I also may try to include more from the first story. My closing could use some work also. It wraps things up the way a children’s movie does. And parts of my paper could flow more smoothly, or be tighter… I really don’t like it and will be revising it until I have to hand it in.

Writer Response

What kind of intro are you using? Why?

I am using a standard effective intro that restates the prompt and introduces the purpose of the essay. Currently, mine is sort of a work in progress. My brain was a bit burned out, and I’d like to go into more depth about how the narrator affects and is affected by the events in both stories before I move on to describe each specific story.


What do you like best about your paper right now? Why?

I am planning on using a lot of quotes to back my paper up, and like that it will eventually be very specific. Once I got a hold of the concept that the prompt was trying to convey, I found a lot of examples to support it throughout both stories that I am looking at. Poe likes to describe things, and his narrators generally have a very strong voice, so it was easy to find what I was looking for, as well as incorporate them into my paper.


What would you work on if you had more time? Why? Try and be specific and please, no comments about grammar.

I would have liked to go more in depth with the two stories, more specifically the character of both narrators. I find them to be interesting and worth looking at more closely, but for the sake of length, I had to be very picky with what I put into the paper. I am still trying to figure out the ‘why’ part of the prompt, and hope I’ll figure it out by the final draft. The prompt leaves so many things to talk about between these two stories.

Essay rough draft/ outline

This is my rough draft as it stands now... it's still half an outline, as I got a bit stuck, but here it is anyway. I decided to do prompt number one.

Prompt #1: First draft

In both the stories, “The Oblong Box” and “The Fall of the house of Usher”, the narrators seem to be very much affected by the events that they describe. By contrast, the narrator’s state of mind throughout the story directly affects the depictions of the events. This is illustrated several times in the course of both stories.
In “The Oblong Box”, the narrator takes the form of another passenger of the ship, and friend to the main character. Already we have a bias through the narrator’s relationship to Cornelius Wyatt, who had been a peer of his at University. The narrator, to begin with, seems like a curious sort of man, as he checks the passenger lists to see who else is on the ship. He remarks in the second paragraph of the story, “…I was rejoiced to see that of Mr. Cornelius Wyatt, a young artist, for whom I entertained feelings of warm friendship.” In this quote, we have established an opinion of Wyatt through the narrator’s feelings for them.
The narrator goes on to describe his friend more fully in the next passage, “He had the ordinary temperament of genius, and was a compound of misanthropy, sensibility, and enthusiasm. To these qualities he united the warmest and truest heart which ever beat in a human bosom.”
Already, the narrator is setting up this man to be a sympathetic character. This first description is what will carry through the rest of the story. The narrator cares for this man, and therefore, the reader cares about him as well.
As the story continues, the beginnings of the plot become apparent in the fact that Wyatt was apparently traveling with three other persons, but only three staterooms were assigned to his party. This gets the narrator thinking. On the first page, he is already pondering over the mystery that will consume him almost to the end of the piece…. (cont)
-Quote: “I could not comprehend why there were three state-rooms for these four persons...” (Curiosity on part of narrator)
-Everything seen through narrator’s eyes, and opinions… we can form no unbiased feelings of our own on these characters with the biased information given. (pg 433, description of Mrs. Wyatt, Pg 435, rant about friend’s wife.)
-Curiosity example: Oblong box introduction, pg 433
-Pg 443 Increasing obsession with the box… fixation on that and not other goings on about the ship. We don’t know other events because the narrator is obsessed.
-His feelings affect the overall feeling of the piece, moods-piece mood.
-Pg 438, description of shipwreck- Seen from narrator’s eyes, don’t know what Wyatt is feeling. Mystery is solved,

House of Usher--
-Introduction of house of usher and narrator.
-First sentence, pg 378- sampling of mood of piece.
-Describe word-use and how that betrays the narrator’s state of mind about the house. Look at house descriptions.
-Metaphor of house/Roderick’s mind, pg 379
-”Although as boys….” quote, pg 379
-Degrading relationship between Roderick and Narrator…. Pg 380
-Sickness/moldering house metaphor.
“Upon my entrance, Usher…” quote, pg 381
-describe how narrator’s overall opinion colors reader’s view of Roderick and his sister

Closing paragraph-
-Describe how point of view decides how readers view events
-Closing statement/restatement of ‘purpose’/ main paragraph