Reader's response for Mark

What kind of intro is the author using? Suggest a way to use another effective one.

The author uses an effective intro in the fact that he manages to state the purpose of the essay without outright restating the prompt. He goes on to use vivid, attention-catching imagery that draws the reader into the piece. It may be a little too wordy, but it doesn’t detract from the overall understandability of the paragraph.


Where is the author describing a scene from one of the stories? Suggest at least one other scene from a story the author could use.

The author chooses several scenes from the Hemmingway stories that effectively support his purpose. He uses examples from “Indian camp” and “The battler” to describe the symbols that mark Nick’s transformation from a child into a man, and how these relate to defining moments in the stories (“…mist, sawdust or the presence of a swamp—that indicates the beginning of a suspenseful moment.”)

Personally, I think he pretty well covered all of the relevant scenes that could be used throughout the selection of stories he analyzed, and don’t really have any suggestions in this respect.


List any paragraphs where you were confused or unclear about the author‘s intention or meaning. What made it unclear? How could it be said more coherently?

I don’t think that any one paragraph really was unclear, but the author might benefit from using more concise ways of explaining what he is trying to convey with this piece. The descriptions are very vivid, but I got a bit distracted by the wordiness and became a bit lost about the second page. The concept is there, it could just use a bit of condensing.